An Open Letter to Jon & Kate

Zack Rosen

Dear Jon and Kate,

You suck. I don’t care about you; hell, even YOU don’t care about you. Your kids don’t care about you, your parents probably forgot the condom (looks like you did too?), and the only thing holding your life together is the prospect of more money by exploiting your kids.

That’s right, you are completely and totally exploiting your kids. You know, having cameras around them 24/7. Oh and having you, Kate, as a mother. That alone should be considered child abuse and probably could carry a fine of up to $500,000.

Have you ever noticed what horrible parenting there is in this country? Not my parents, probably not yours, but still. And not only is there horrible parenting, but also horrible neglect. Speaking of neglect, abuse, and bad parenting, enjoy the photo to the right of a girl with a beer funnel. Sure, the website that this came from ( is funny and all, but it’s actually pretty disturbing. Some of the photos may be fake and staged, but some definitely are not.

Photo courtesy
Photo courtesy

Jon, of the two of you, I actually feel bad for you. You married a floozy. Why, I’ll never know, but hey we all make bad decisions.

Fact of the matter, Kate, you’re a bad mother. You realize that when 5-year-old Collin is 21 he’ll be addicted to meth and prostituting on the street corner? Yeah, that’s because of your bad parenting. Not to mention 9-year-old Cara will probably grow up to be just like you. That’ll probably be a worse situation than that of your meth head son.

Can you tell I don’t like stupid reality TV? I mean, Hell’s Kitchen is where it’s at. They make some darn good looking meals. But what is the point of watching a TV show where a husband and wife (now ex’es, of course) fight…all while their kids watch. Now if you had the eight kids fight to be the best chef, there’s no doubt that Kate would make a great Gordon Ramsay. That’d be some awesome television.

Of course I don’t wish for Collin to become addicted to methamphetamine, and I certainly hope that Cara doesn’t grow up to be like you, Kate. But the fact is that how you act around your kids, and how you treat and talk to them, will affect them.

So do your kids a favor, and end it now. Kate, don’t do that stupid Kate Plus 8 sequel show. (Which, by the way TLC, that was an original name. To whoever picked that: you’re fired.) Jon, stop fighting with Kate. And you know what? If you both stick to those plans, maybe your kids won’t turn out horribly.

Love, and sympathy,