The Charger Bulletin

Calling all the orphan zombies

Amber Cholewa, Head of Public Relations November 1, 2022

Satire Many people make zombies the bane of their existence, even here at the University of New Haven. Recently, a new quad was built on campus, and many of us are wondering why that is. Is it due to...

Case study reveals life-threatening dangers of Sodexo food

Mia Adduci, Campus News Editor November 1, 2022

Satire In recent weeks, long-awaited results from a year-long case study have unveiled a correlation between the consumption of food produced by the company Sodexo, and rapid organ failure in individuals...

Fanned-out one-dollar bills, West Haven.

Out with the old, in with the new

Teresa Zangari, Contributing Writer April 5, 2022

Satire I have never been more thankful for the continual rise in academic tuition prices. It is bold of us to allow ourselves to be embraced with a lifetime of debt for the useless education we are...

The Resident Italian and Sports Editor display their love-hate relationship, West Haven.

Meet the brains behind the Bulletin

Lindsay Giovannone, Sports Editor April 5, 2022

Satire Kayla Mutchler “The Big Cheese” Kayla has been a dedicated writer to the Charger Bulletin since her freshman year. Assuming the role of The Big Cheese for the past two years, she has been...

Azealia Banks performs.

Azealia Banks launches wholesome anti-bullying campaign

Samuel Weinmann, Politics Editor April 5, 2022

Satire On Sunday, philanthropist, rapper and social media influencer Azealia Banks launched a social media campaign targeted at eradicating bullying. Banks has already championed four other successful...

Charlie the Charger: Admission’s token nonbinary icon

Charlie the Charger: Admission’s token nonbinary icon

Mia Adduci, Student Life Editor April 5, 2022

Satire We all know that the queer population at the University of New Haven is vast, yet somehow, despite our overpowering ratio, we tend to be underrepresented. In recent light, the university has displayed...

The new and bimbofied Charger statue outside of the Beckerman Receration Center, West Haven.

Bimbofication at the university: A necessary manifesto

Kayla Mutchler, Editor-In-Chief April 5, 2022

Satire It is our time. We’ve had women’s rights in the 1960s and for LGBTQ+ rights in the 70s and 2010s––but this isn’t enough. I feel underrepresented, erased, alienated. I look around and...

The illustrious Forest swimming pool, West Haven.

Multi-layered pyramid scheme reveals university recruitment strategy

Mia Adduci, Student Life Editor April 5, 2022

Satire Recent discoveries have unveiled the truth behind the recruitment process at the University of New Haven. A pyramid scheme, code-named “Charlie’s Angels” after CEO Kaplan’s personal favorite...

Collegiate Competition Equity Task Force ‘equal footing’ initiative takes off running

Collegiate Competition Equity Task Force ‘equal footing’ initiative takes off running

Isabelle Hajek, Opinions Editor April 5, 2022

Satire Recent news stories have brought to the forefront of sports coverage highlighting an emergent topic in the world of athletics that must be dealt with immediately. Competitive sports have met...

The outside of Charlie’s Cabaret, the all new adult entertainment venue at the university, West Haven.

German Club to be turned into an adult entertainment venue

Lindsay Giovannone, Sports Editor April 5, 2022

Satire The German Club, officially called Arbeiter Maenner Chor, is an iconic campus building at the University of New Haven where exciting student events like the flu shot clinic have been held. However,...

Isabelle Hajek and Linsday Giovannone touch grass for the first time in their lives during HNRS 1111, West Haven.

Honors program announces totally real course listings for fall semester

Editorial Staff, Editorial Staff April 5, 2022

Satire It is officially the point in time during the second semester where the registration process for next fall has begun, and the highly anticipated list of Honors courses has been released. Here are...

Ghosts hide inside Maxcy Hall, West Haven.

Meet the ghosts in Maxcy Hall that have been haunting you

Saige Batza, Student Life Editor April 5, 2022

Satire Have you ever felt as if you were being watched while walking to class inside Maxcy Hall? Have you ever felt spooked while walking past the building late at night? The building was once an orphanage...

UNH After Dark: The real student news source

UNH After Dark: The real student news source

Julianna Pegnataro, Contributing Writer April 5, 2022

Satire The Charger Bulletin staff has been consistently scoping out the University of New Haven news competitors over the years. Now, they are starting to wave their white flags in the air and surrender...

The Immortality Hypothesis

The Immortality Hypothesis

Isabelle Hajek, Opinions Editor April 5, 2022

Satire The fountain of youth, the ambrosia of the gods, vampiric love triangles and the like–for millennia, humanity has been obsessed with immortality. Constantly chasing the cure to death, boldly...

Residential housing to exponentially improve by 2042

Logan Dumas, Contributing Writer April 5, 2022

Satire There have been rumors spreading around campus recently that some of the university's current residence halls are projected to be remodeled for the future. There has been talk through the grapevine...

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