What’s so Exhilarating About Breaking Out in Heavy Sweats?


During the last moments of the brisk weather, the world can almost taste the hot sun they once knew. But is sun poisoning, sweat in uncomfortable places, mosquito bites, and chafing really preferred over warm fires, cancelled work and school days, cozy blankets, and the holiday season?

Before swearing off winter, remember how inconvenient the summer can be. There are no rules to putting more clothes on, but it’s questionable to be nude in public. Shirts can be worn under thermals, and thermals under sweaters, plus a pullover, and a fluffy jacket to top it off. There is no limit. Five sweaters? Fine. You can’t be arrested for that. But public nudity, well I’ll see you in court.  

In the sweat season, though, restless nights become a living nightmare. It’s too hot, the windows are open, but that makes it even warmer. The fan is just stirring the damp, sweaty air. The air becomes a thick, musty quilt that hovers over your sleepless, clammy body. There is no escape, but to wait for colder season again.

Sure, summer has late nights by the fire pit (with sticky bug repellent clinging to itchy skin), the beach and the sand (AKA open water, whiplash from waves, and grainy minerals in your bum), and no school (leaving plenty of time to assess your sad life). But is there a Hallmark channel dedicated to the romance and holiday spirit that summer brings about?

The only thing summer brings to the table is extra shower time to wash away your wishful thinking of bringing back the hot weather so soon. You can’t wear jeans because they cling to your moist (summer means using the word “moist” more) legs, wearing a skirt may mean grooming your legs more often, and not to mention, the deteriorating of your innermost thighs due to chafing. Plus, for those of us graduating, we’re looking at careers coming our way, okay? That means, you will potentially be sitting in a sweaty office this summer, wearing something you wish you weren’t, all while wishing you were grateful for the cooler weather when you had it. Also, doesn’t it seem like A.C. units break more often in the summer?

What’s so exhilarating about breaking out in heavy sweats again?

Disclaimer: My birthday is in the summer, so I like that. Also, my doctors are pretty confident I have some kind of sun hypersensitivity. Bye.