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The Charger Battery

Joshua Van Hoesen

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Positives:

Well according to President Kaplan, our alien overlords have finally arrived to enslave the human race, thus the reason for all the noise from the construction (it is really sub-harmonic frequencies to implant sub-conscious instructions into our mind).

Spring break was pretty much as amazing as could be (except for the rain at the beginning!). I don’t know what all you folks did but I went motorcycling and made maple syrup up at my dad’s…prolly my most productive week all year!

Negatives:

Rain, rain, rain, and guess what? Oh you don’t know? MORE RAIN. I’m tired of this. First, it’s really good weather and then it’s really bad. Will you make up your freakin’ mind mother nature?

I don’t know about everyone else, but as the year wears on it seems as if there are more and more lab reports to do…and I personally do not like lab reports. Because let’s be honest: they are long and they are boring and you don’t really pay much attention to them! But professors are always so picky about what they want in their reports. =(

The Battery Charger:

Remember there are many defenses against alien incursions that you can implement in your own home and work. There are a few steps one can use to deter aliens:

1. It is useful to get very annoyed about the violation of one’s rights. Shouting “leave me alone” or “go away” may also help.
2. Tin foil hats are a classic and are a favorite (as I have heard from reputable sources) of President Kaplan.
3. Some herbs and unguents have been known to repel aliens (teargas has been known to be very effective).
4. Last, but not least, and my personal favorite – a double barreled shotgun has been proven to be most effective out of any and all personal defense means.

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The Charger Battery