The Charger Bulletin

The Monkey House: Wacky Wal-Mart Adventures

Cullen Mclane

May 2, 2012

Ah, Wal-Mart, that lovely place where you can walk in and find everything. Clothing, food, electronics, everything. Literally, everything ever. To many Americans, Wal-Mart truly is utopia personified. In the eyes of many, Wal-Mart truly is the greatest store on Earth, containing anything anyone could ever a...

The Monkey House: Money: The Final Frontier

Cullen Mclane

April 25, 2012

Guess what everyone; America is poor. All of our money is down the toilet. This includes the North American Space Administration, better known as NASA. You know what this means? We lack the necessary funds for space adventures. Well, we still have some money for space adventures, but just not enough for real...

The Monkey House: Anonymous’ Latest Shenanigans: This Time with Extra China

Cullen Mclane

April 18, 2012

Anonymous, that crazy "hacktivist" group, is always up to something. For those not in the loop, Anonymous is basically this group of hackers, who hack stuff. The group is pretty unorganized, operating without any formal leaders; instead all of them are opting to act as one. As their slogan says, "We ar...

The Monkey House: Wacky Iranian Clinton Hi-Jinx

Cullen Mclane

April 11, 2012

World War II may have served as a fitting ending to the World War saga, but when has that ever stopped a sequel from being made? World War III fortunately was one of those sequels that never got off the ground, despite the fact that there probably would have been a fairly large audience for it. And i...

The Monkey House: Your Boss Wants Your Facebook Password

Cullen Mclane

April 4, 2012

In our constantly evolving technological world, social networking is becoming more and more prevalent. This very newspaper is on Facebook! That’s right; we have reached the point where even inanimate pieces of paper with words on them have Facebook pages. If even newspapers have Facebook pages, one can...

The Monkey House: Graphic Cigarette Labels Deemed

Cullen Mclane

March 28, 2012

Bad news for cigarette companies. In 2009, the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act was passed, making it a requirement for cigarette packages to give a big chunk of their space to warning labels. It’s only a matter of time before all the text on the box is replaced "DON"T BUY THIS!" ...

Ron Paul: America Slipping Into Fascism

Cullen Mclane

February 29, 2012

So apparently I’m working on some kind of article about a guy named Paul this week. And apparently he said something about America slipping into fascism or something. He’s entitled to his opinion, I guess. But what makes this Paul guy so news worthy? Everybody has opinions, but they don’t all deserve...

One Million Moms Are Insane

Cullen Mclane

February 15, 2012

Parents, it’s awful! Don’t shop at JC Penny’s! For the love of all that is holy, do not shop there! Your kids will lose all their family values! That’s what the organization called "One Million Moms" seems to think. Wow, just the name makes them sound obnoxious. "One Million Moms" (holy monkey hou...

Barrack Obama to Hang Out In Chat Rooms, Provides For Uninteresting Story

Cullen Mclane

February 1, 2012

The man, the myth, the legend: Barack Hussein Obama! From socialized medicine to allegations of being born in Kenya, Barry is always up to some wacky hi-jinx. His latest stunt is hanging out in some internet chat rooms.  Hmmm… Compared to the socialized medicine, the Kenya birth allegations, killing B...

Orange Juice: Vitamin C, Beta Carotene, and Fungicide

Cullen Mclane

January 25, 2012

Howard wakes up one morning, ready to start his daily adventures. He leaps out of bed, and heads to his kitchen. He reaches into his cupboard and pulls out a box of the finest Kellogg’s Froot Loops, which he promptly pours into a bowl before reaching into his fridge and grabbing some Tropicana Orange...

The Monkey House: A Penny Saved Is Several Dollars Earned

Cullen Mclane

December 14, 2011

Here’s one for all the penny pinchers out there. And I mean literal penny pinching. Well, not literally in the sense that you actually pinch the penny, but the metaphorical pinching in this instance must be applied to pennies. Not nickels, dimes, dollars, schillings, yen, euros, rupees, or any other...

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The Monkey House