SATIRE Much like any adolescent child with the entirety of human creativity at his fingertips, I grew up with a dream: to be a reality television star. Throughout my formative years, I spent hours a...

Satire Dear Entertainment Editor, Why is life so cruel? What exactly is our crime, that we must live off of the blood that flows through our veins? What do you think we'll do if we're thirsty for a drink?...

Satire I have never been more thankful for the continual rise in academic tuition prices. It is bold of us to allow ourselves to be embraced with a lifetime of debt for the useless education we are...

Satire There have been rumors spreading around campus recently that some of the university's current residence halls are projected to be remodeled for the future. There has been talk through the grapevine...

Disclaimer: This article is considered a piece of satire meaning that it is not to be taken literally or seriously. Free healthcare is necessary. At the ripe age of 12, I was diagnosed with type one...

While freshmen may primarily benefit from these five key pieces of advice, anybody is welcome to use them as their own personal guidelines for navigating the treacherous jungle that is college, particularly...