World War II may have served as a fitting ending to the World War saga, but when has that ever stopped a sequel from being made? World War III fortunately was one of those sequels that never got off the ground, despite the fact that there probably would have been a fairly large audience for it. And it would probably have involved nuclear weapons of mass destruction, lots of large explosions, and all of us being dead. Fun stuff.

Now, if anyone was to start such a war, there are two likely candidates: Germany and Iran. Why Germany? Well, World Wars are kind of their thing; it wouldn’t feel like a proper sequel if we didn’t have our recurring antagonists. That said, this would probably be a pretty awful sequel, and it’s not uncommon for awful sequels to go off in weird directions that the originals did not.

Iran is, let’s not even try to sugar coat this, insane. If I was to prepare a list of the fingers who I would most want to not be above a big red button, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would be at the top. Iran is interesting in that they seem to like nuclear energy a lot: something of a hobby of theirs in many ways. Of course, the Iranian government is quick to claim “uh, no, we’re not making any weapons, no sir!” when confronted by Hilary Clinton, who is somehow our secretary of state.

Clinton asked for Iran to prove what they say and to back up their claims that they are not after weapons. Iran assured us that “weapons of mass destruction are religiously prohibited.” Could Iran be harnessing nuclear power for the sake of powering toaster ovens maybe? Perhaps, but it’s no secret Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would have no problem seeing Israel go bye-bye in a bug fiery explosion, and I doubt he’d be too fussed if a few of our fifty states were to go too. Man, I love fear mongering.