Positives

+ I hear pumpkin spice lattes are back, which is a good thing, unless you’re our Editor, Elissa Sanci, who is allergic to cinnamon. Don’t get too close, folks, unless you have an epipen fetish and you’re into stabbing girls in the thigh with a needle.

+ Like those minion memes that just won’t die, UNH Confessions is back. While the concept in and of itself is rather jejune, most of the uneducated comments and accusations are pretty entertaining. (If you can’t figure out if you’re one of the ignorant people I’m talking about, just consider whether or not you had to pull out a dictionary when I used the word “jejune.”)

Negatives

– So, who’s excited to use those 90 percent off tickets to the New York Comedy Club via SCOPE? Anybody? No? To those of you who actually bought into that scam, have fun checking your credit card statements.

-The Richard Roasts may have to come to an end due to the fact that he has been spotted twice in the past week wearing pants that are a normal color. Richard, we hope you get the help you need.

The Battery Charge

It’s getting to be that time of year where we play Russian roulette with our outfit choices and are forced to decide between dying of frostbite in the morning or dying of heatstroke in the afternoon. At least, white girls (and boys, I won’t judge) can rejoice in the fact that this means it’s nearly pumpkin spice season. However, it’s time to put down your pumpkin spice lattes and get with the program, because if I have to hear one more conversation between students wishing their parents would just let them drop out of school and stay home…