Like Zack, I also went to see Shutter Island this weekend. My boyfriend and I caught an afternoon showing, grabbed our typical snacks (I have an obsession with sour patch kids), and took a seat. The theatre was unusually crowded, something that normally doesn’t bother me, and a family with a boy my age and a middle aged couple sat around us. A family of three teenage girls, definitely not old enough to see an R rated movie on their own, crowded in behind us. The previews started and WOOSH we were off to movie land…for a few moments at least. Then it all came crashing down.

My first complaint was the 13-year-old snot sitting in the row behind me. Now, I don’t really care about what age you are in an R rated movie. See Zack’s editorial for that. My thing is, if you come to an R rated movie, or your parent’s decide you might actually be mature enough to see it: ACT LIKE IT! Not only did this stupid twit yell incredibly loudly every single time a scene came up that her pre-pubescent mind couldn’t wrap around, she made sure to have these exclamations during periods of intense movie silence. When watching Leo have one of his amazing on screen moments, no one wants to hear you scream, “I’m SO confused!”

During a scene in the film, for the briefest of seconds, the audience sees a naked male on screen. The rest of the audience was unfazed by this, as it was not a pivotal moment to the plot. This stupid girl, in her pre-teen way, screamed at the top of her lungs and giggled obscenely at the male genitalia on screen…and ruined the movie moment. Her incessant laughter kept going throughout the next scene…when the naked man had already left the screen.

Now of course, this girl was not the only problem in the theatre. That would have been WAY too easy. The boy, who was of age I’m presuming, sitting next to my boyfriend had an unusual obsession with texting. Every two minutes, maybe three, he pulled out his phone. He texted, went on the Internet, played games, and watched with obvious stupidity as his phone started to ring. Now, like every other person on the planet right now, I’m obsessed with my blackberry. I live with it practically attached to my hip. But even I know how to turn it off to enjoy a movie and to have respect for the people around me.

So: time for my simple movie etiquette. If you aren’t mature enough to handle an R rated movie: don’t go see it! Yes, your parents should probably have the sense to leave you at home, but that argument is for another time. Instead…if you really MUST show your sense of “maturity”: keep your mouth shut! No one wants to hear your shouts about confusion, scary moments, or sexual ignorance.

Next, if you really want to play on your phone all day: don’t see a movie! It can’t possibly be worth the 10 dollars, plus snacks, to sit and ignore the screen in front of you. Stop causing bright lights in the theatre, annoying clicking noise from your buttons, and ridiculous ring tones no one cares about. Have some common movie theatre etiquette. The rest of the theatre will respect you, no one will make inappropriate comments at you as you leave (I may have muttered some incredibly rude things as those people strutted by), and you won’t end up in the editorial section of The Charger Bulletin!