Don’t Come to Class Sick

Every flu-season, we are told that it’s a dangerous strain — but this season, we are told it may be the worst strain yet.

This flu-season has reportedly killed over 30 individuals, according to Time. This information has been publicized, and repeated along with the suggestion that we get our flu-shots.

So why, oh why, are students still coming to class coughing up a lung?

If I have to feel your overly warm, sick breath spilling down my neck, your sneeze juices splattering behind my ears, or your germ-dipped hand borrowing my pen, I think it’s best you take one for the team, and keep yourself quarantined for a day — or a week.

By staying home and missing class, you are giving yourself a few days to regroup, and possibly cure yourself of the treacherous flu.

A classroom is not that big. The doors are usually closed, and at this time of the year, the windows are sealed. There is no way you are keeping your germs to yourself. They are infesting the crevices of the walls, embedding in the clothes of your peers, and entering the mouths of your professors.

There is no amount of hand sanitizer that can keep you germ-free in class. Each sneeze, and every cough you spew delivers your contaminated saliva up to 200 feet, according to Slate Magazine. That means, when you make no effort to cover your mouth, you are spraying the necks of your classmates with slobbery mucus. says that a single sneeze erupts from the back of the throat at over 200 mph. Sure, launching your sneeze droplets into your elbow will keep your classmates dry, but it will not keep them from absorbing your evaporated sputum.

In a closed room, airflow is tighter, and being circulated quickly. You’re breathing in the breath of your neighbor, and so on. Oxygen is being shared. Your snot rockets are vaporizing from your sleeve, entering the respiratory systems of your classmates, and  infecting them.

If you’re thinking of coming to class with the flu, and your contaminated excretions, here is your simple solution: don’t.

Sincerely, your friendly neighborhood hypochondriac.