There was a time when “my dog ate my homework” was a popular excuse for not handing in an assignment. Having fallen victim to my dog actually eating the copy of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest I was supposed to read for homework and my high school English teacher not believing me, a light bulb quickly went off in my head. That is when I realized that excuses were everything.

An old professor of mine started the first class one semester by explaining that, “excuses were like asses, everyone’s got one, and they all stink” but do they all really stink? I mean sure, emailing out of class because your mom was in a “three-car pile-up” with pictures to prove when in reality you were on your way to “Good Morning America” because Justin Bieber was playing, morally stinks, but it works.

Excuses range from “my grandmother fell down the stairs,” to “I accidentally ate gluten and I have celiac disease.” While grandmothers do fall downstairs, students say only around 25 percent of the excuses they use are valid, and the greater the import of the school work, the more outlandish their excuses become.
“I like to think I am a good student who rarely misses tests,” said Nicole Guilford, a legal studies major at the University of New Haven. “But at the end of the day my grades are what is most important so if I missed a test to go for a hike I wouldn’t hesitate to make up a crazy excuse.”

Whether it is saving doctors’ notes, claiming you are suffering from explosive diarrhea, or emailing out of class because you have an important meeting to go to, it appears that students will stop at nothing to ensure they get the best of both worlds.

While a little white lie has never hurt anyone, not all students are okay with fibbing.

“I think lying to get out of school work becomes an issue when you lose your integrity,” said Shonna Carlson, a junior criminal justice major from Rhode Island. There is a practical issue with it because if you are missing that much class you are wasting your money.”

Money and morals aside, the excuses might not always work but ultimately, the practice is inevitable and all that can be done is commend those for the creativity.