Positives
+ Only a few more days until Labor Day weekend, a ritual practiced by all college students during which they return home for a weekend to cry and beg their parents to let them stay.

+ WestFest was a huge success, and a great way to decompress after the first week of classes.

Negatives
– What kind of sick, sadistic individual would plan for a long weekend just two weeks into the semester?

– A moment of silence for all the bed sheets harmed in the making of this weekend’s toga party. Read into that however much you like.

The Battery Charge
Freshmen: Please stop wearing your lanyards around your necks. It makes you easy to identify, and, therefore, easy targets. Also, please watch where you’re going at all times–nobody wants to be known as “the kid who fell down the stairs in Bartels” or “the kid who got mugged by some guy with nothing but a broom handle” for the next four years. This has been a PSA from your friendly (but not so friendly that you can just come up and start talking to me) neighborhood upperclassman.