Ask Melanie


Dear Melanie,
     I have a huge problem. I am in love with my best friend’s boyfriend. We hang out all the time and when we are not together, we are texting. She is always way too busy to hang out with him, so he often leans on me because he is always lonely. I have been best friends with her for ten years and we have both known her boyfriend for two years. When I hang out with her boyfriend, we never tell her because we are afraid she will get mad. Sometimes, I even end up sleeping over his house. He told me that he has feelings for me and will break up with her, but that was three months ago. I have been hanging out with him alone for a year now. I really don’t know what to do. I am 20 years old, and I always thought that this was middle school drama and would laugh at this kind of thing, but now it is happening to me and I don’t know what to do. Please help me. I am completely overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed Olivia
Dear Overwhelmed Olivia,

First of all, calm the heck down. If you are seriously in love with this guy, you need to sit down with your best friend and tell her absolutely everything; including the fact that her boyfriend felt she was not giving him enough attention. Second of all, if he told you he has feelings for you, but did not break up with his girlfriend – do you really think he has feelings for you? Obviously this guy is just as confused as you are and can’t make a choice. He has the best of both worlds right now. You need to have a talk with your friend and her boyfriend. Ask him what he wants, more so who he wants, but don’t let yourself be a choice. If he seriously has feelings for you then he would have broken things off with his busy girlfriend a while ago. Did you ever consider the fact that he may only be hanging out with you when his girlfriend isn’t around? Tough love, I know, but you have to do what is right. Talk to your best friend. It will be worse if she ends up finding out on her own instead of hearing it from you. Good luck. Everything will fall into place.