You all read the same email from USGA President Chris Rinck that I did this past week.
It has come to my attention that the amount of trash being left around campus is becoming a problem. During these times of construction and renovation, it is important for the student body to pick up after ourselves and keep the campus clean. I ask everyone to please dispose of all trash in the proper containers and dispose of cigarette butts in the “Butt Stops” located outside of most buildings. This will help everyone be able to enjoy a clean campus.

But frankly, it’s not just little bits of trash around campus. If you’ve ever taken the time to actually say “hi” to one of the workers down in Old Café, you’ll know that they are incredibly nice people. So why, I must ask, do you feel the need to leave your crap on the table when you’re done eating?

One of these workers came up to the Student Activities wing the other day to show some of us just how much was being left on the table. From the looks of all the food and dishes on her tray, I honestly thought she was delivering food for some 30+ guest catering event.

Maybe in your dorm you don’t care about dishes being left everywhere and food kept on your table, and hey maybe your parents are total idiots and taught you that it’s okay to leave trash and food everywhere for other people to clean up. But welcome to UNH! Not here, baby.

So I urge everybody who actually cares about this, ‘cause I know there’s at least a few of you out there, to keep an eye on others. When you see someone leaving their food behind, or throwing trash on the ground, this is what I want you to do. Find out who they are…that’s easy enough! And then email [email protected] with their name. Yup, I’m serious. Oh, and then yell at them. Kindly. Or unkindly. It really doesn’t matter, because they obviously don’t care. But make sure you get their name and email us.

Actually, maybe there’s another solution. At least in Woody Allen’s mind.

“In Beverly Hills… they don’t throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.”

Just kidding.

So in the words of USGA President Chris Rinck, let’s try to get everybody to enjoy a clean campus. After all, isn’t that something we’d all love to have?

Sure, we’re not as bad as other schools, as I’ve seen some legitimately disgusting campuses. Luckily, we are not at that level. And there are certainly people on this campus who go out of their way to clean up after themselves and recycle and all dat jazz.

But you, the person who’s going to leave this copy of The Charger Bulletin on the ground, and who is leaving their plate with half-eaten pancakes on the table, need to follow in these other people’s footsteps.

Of course I’m nowhere as entertaining as Woody Allen. But, in this case, I have a more concise message.

Grow up.