Anyone who knows me knows my love for the Transformers movies. I am the unapologetic defender of the Michael Bay Transformers films. Of course I acknowledge the flaws, but as a member of the targeted audience, I was able to happily walk out of the theatre every single time.

With that being said, I absolutely hate Transformers: Age of Extinction. I generally keep these reviews spoiler free, so details will be excluded. Throughout the entire film I turned to my friends once at least every 90 seconds and point out something that either bothered me, or did not make any sense. By time the film ended, I was beyond bored, angry, confused, and disappointed.

Here’s why: the Transformers films usually have a recipe. I am not referring to the plot formula that each film followed; instead, I’m talking about the pieces in the film that kept me wanting more. The recipe was as follows: a simple plot that can get me from start to finish, likable Autobots who I can get on board with, very attractive females and over the top explosive action.

This film’s first sin is the two hour and 45 minute time span. The second is its plot. The plot tried so hard to be complex, convoluted and intertwining that it quickly gets lost in its own madness and tangles like a slinky. By time the climax happens, you begin to ask yourself, “what exactly are the two sides, and what exactly are they fighting over?”

The Autobots are brand new, aside from returners Optimus (a post-Vietnam Optimus), and the severely underused Bumble Bee. The rest of the Autobots get no introduction, and are the most unlikable robots ever put on film. They are annoying, and you simply do not care for any of them.

There is one hot female, who the movie constantly reminds you is 17-years-old, yet continues to shove her butt on screen in crystal clear definition. This girl is accompanied on-screen by the most annoying and pointless human character out of all four movies, Mark Wahlberg, who clearly looks out of place.

The action is great as always; it just gets exhausting after being stretched out for so long. Even about a third of the computer graphics look unfinished, which is aggravating.

What’s good about this movie? Lockdown: a bounty hunter from Cybertron who identifies as neither Autobot nor Decepticon. I tell you, every second this guy was on screen I was glued. Other than that, there isn’t much to like about this film. And as I said, this is coming from a Michael Bay supporter, so I was not waiting to hate this film. It’s just unfortunate that’s what happened by the end. Please, Paramount, get someone else to direct the fifth movie!