Satire
Who would’ve thought? A recent poll across the U.S. was conducted to see which state had the safest drivers. Not only was Connecticut voted number one, but Campbell Avenue located right next to campus was voted the safest road to drive on in the country. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone in the area, because surely everyone drives like a normal person on Campbell Avenue.
Several factors went into this decision, including the timing of traffic lights, pedestrian safety, speed control and overall safety of drivers.
Voters only had to take one look at the road during rush hour to see that driving on Campbell Avenue was a piece of cake. Taking a road test here would simply be too easy; just imagine how easy it would be to parallel park in a parking spot on the side of the street that is exactly the size of your car with another car hardly parked between the lines right behind you.
You’ll never encounter a nicer person in your life than an encounter with a stranger while driving on Campbell Avenue. They often give you a nice wave with only one finger or tell you in a few words to have a great day. Be sure to leave your windows open so you can boost your spirits for the day with the words of encouragement you get when you come across someone who knows everything about driving. They spread nothing but positivity and kind words on the road, so be sure to reciprocate the feeling they give you.
Besides drivers, pedestrians also make for lovely experiences when driving on Campbell Avenue. Their incredible ability to not care whether a car is coming and still walk across the street shows how much faith they have to not get hit no matter how close the car is. It is refreshing to see people have faith in others and we should all try to be more like West Haven pedestrians. They make the experience of driving through town a truly unforgettable memory.
Everything about driving on Campbell Avenue is so great that it makes you forget about the time you spend at traffic lights.
It just makes so much sense to have two lights back-to-back and not have them timed right so you’re able to go past the first one and sit at the second for five minutes. Who wouldn’t want to do that? It makes every commute better whether you’re running late for work, class or anything else important that you have to get to.
My personal favorite is the light off campus next to McDonald’s. I love being in a rush and sitting there waiting for my turn to go and trying not to rip my hair out because the wait is going to be the reason I’m late to class. It builds character and tests your patience in a way that many other things in life can’t.
Speed was the ultimate reason that Campbell Avenue became known as the safest road in America. It’s like a cakewalk driving next to someone in a beatdown car trying to make it a race to a red light before you to qualify for the Indianapolis 500. Bringing out someone’s competitive spirit on the road is always a great idea and I know I always look forward to seeing someone light up a radar gun with a cop sitting on a side street.
All of this equates to a perfectly safe commute for all drivers, regardless of experience and skill while driving. I chose to come to this school because of all the incredible stories I heard about driving here and how exhilarating it truly is.
I love driving in West Haven! And clearly so does the rest of this country.
