I found myself lying down on my couch the other day, flipping through television channels with absolutely no interest on what was inside that square shaped box. Sitting there, I realized that something was wrong. Not with the television or my surroundings, but rather with myself. For a while there has been something lingering inside, something that only slightly exposed itself on certain days. I am talking about an emotion which cannot be explained, one that needs to be felt to be understood. The feeling I’m talking about is the feeling of change.
Many people my age (20yrs), especially college students, are experiencing some sort of change in their lives. Whether drastic or minor, this is a period of rebuilding. Many of us are evolving into different people, experiencing new situations, befriending new and more friends, and even taking part in hobbies we would have never been caught doing. Reality tells us that things are changing.
Now maybe I am late on the notice, but reflecting back from my high school years to that day on the couch, the concept of change never seemed to hit me. I mean, I knew that things were becoming different- I knew that my life was taking a turn, but I never felt it. It is sort of how college loans work: you never really feel their impact until you graduate.
After this emotion consumed me, I stepped outside to let my mind breathe in some fresh air. I often wonder why people choose to reflect outside, especially when it’s during confusing or depressing times. Why can’t we enjoy and experience nature’s peacefulness when we are happy or just bored?
While I was out there, I had something of a revelation. Standing out there amongst the birds and trees, I realized that never have I really been pushed to the limit. Not because there were never times that called for me to be my best, but because I never chose to do my best during those times. I always settled for just passing. Many might think I am merely talking about grades, but I’m not. I am also talking about the times in which you have to fight to be the best at what you want, or push your hardest to become successful. As a writer, I feel the challenges now, and I feel myself tripping over the hurdles.
I believe that many of us have not truly experienced the feeling of change, and the feeling of fright that comes along with it, the feeling of possibly not being able to pursue your dream career. These are the hardships in life, and though most our age linger between these college walls, we need to realize that the world is much more different and cruel than we expect. We need to understand that like the weather, life is unpredictable, and that change is not the hard part. If we do not realize these changing times, than we are merely sitting on the couch flipping channels.