College can be a rough new chapter in anyone’s life. Stepping into a new world full of new people in a new place learning a million new things can be overwhelming. I know that’s how I felt when I got to college. That lurking feeling of what comes next? How do I make friends? How do I keep my grades up? How do I get involved? Everyone has these same questions coming into college. The transitional period can feel extremely overwhelming whether you commute or live on campus. Thankfully, I’ve done both, so I’m here to help.
The biggest question I’ve heard through the grapevine on the university’s campus is “As a commuter, how do I get involved?” I was a commuter when I first arrived at New Haven, so I completely understand this feeling. Commuting can feel very isolating sometimes. You don’t want to miss out on anything, but you live 30 minutes away. That was the case for me at least.
So what did I do?
Simply as much as I could. Commuter life was easiest for me when I was on campus as much as possible. I highly recommend that all students commuter or on-campus, attend the involvement fair each semester and find roughly two clubs you’d be interested in joining. I hear you saying, “What if the involvement fair has already passed?”
Don’t worry, most clubs allow you to show up to general meetings at any point in the year, and you can find information about them on Charger Connection. Club executive boards also love receiving interest emails, so never be afraid to reach out to the club about your interest. Personally, I joined Improv Club and got involved in Greek Life, so I definitely stayed busy as a commuter. Another great option is joining clubs related to your major. You’ll meet people you likely have classes with and will gain more experience in your field. You’ll make friends in whatever Recognized Student Organization (RSO) you join, and you’ll notice you’re spending a lot of time on campus between classes and clubs. Commuting won’t feel as isolating. Once you start getting involved in clubs and being active on campus, that feeling will go away, I promise.
“What about those of us moving to campus for the first time?” I understand that feeling too. I decided last-minute at the end of my sophomore year to stop commuting and move into a dorm. There’s nothing wrong with commuting, I just needed a change of pace.
I submitted a late housing application and was placed with random roommates. To those of you who entered dorm life and are rooming with people you don’t know that well, my biggest tip is to really try and make your presence known to your roommates. There’s going to be a period of time where you’re all getting used to each other, but don’t feel like you have to hide away in your room out of fear of not getting along with your roommates. When I first met my roommates, we left our doors open and spent time in our common area. We may not have talked much in the very beginning, but eventually, we started going to the dining hall together, going on Target runs, and having movie nights. Now, we’re inseparable. The awkward phase of meeting your roommates is only temporary.
However, roommate conflicts happen. It can happen over the smallest of things. Maybe your roommate is messier or neater than you.Maybe you feel excluded from your roommates. Maybe one stays up late making noise and the other one wants to go to sleep early. Whatever it may be, conflict can arise.
Living with another person, especially a stranger, can cause some clashing. So how do you approach it? Truthfully, it’s different for every person. My advice would be to always try talking to your roommate(s) first. Everyone has a right to set boundaries within their space, and as long as you are respectful and bring it up in a polite manner, there’s a good chance you’ll get a good reaction.
If you feel you’re in a situation where approaching your roommate(s) in this way isn’t possible, then use the residential resources available to you. Your Resident Assistant (RA) is a great person to go to. They’ll be there to answer your questions and can help walk you through a solution most beneficial to you. If you feel you simply can’t make the living space work, there’s nothing wrong with switching you room. Some people fell hesitant when submitting a room change request because they don’t want to upset their roommates, but the truth is, you don’t deserve to live in a space where you feel disrespected. You’ll be living in a dorm for the entire school year, so don’t force yourself into a space you feel you can’t stay in for that whole time. Everyone’s situation is different, and you have to find the solution that is most beneficial to you.
Long story short, early college life is going to consist of a lot of change. Whether you’re a commuter or living in a dorm, you’re going to end up setting a lot of time aside to find your groove. You may not like the first club you join, or you may have a shaky start with the people you live with, but no matter what you find yourself struggling with, just know it will be okay. It’s okay to feel like you haven’t quite found yourself yet. It’s okay to change your mind. You’ll find yourself eventually. You’ll find a club or organization full of people you click with. You just need to take the time to seek it out.
Never be afraid to utilize the resources on campus to help you with anything you may need. It’s what they’re there for. And a few years from now, walking across that graduation stage, you’ll look back on these early days and realize that it did get better because you didn’t give up on the process. Good luck. You got this.
