I have always enjoyed theater. I believe in the artistry that every member of the cast, crew and direction undergoes in order to create a vast moving tapestry to tell a story from anywhere. Attending a show grants me the ability to admire the little details that most theatergoers don’t: the costume design, the little quirks in the set that only the crew know and the props that the actors break after five seconds of interaction. I even loved being a part of these productions. Unfortunately, I must put my love in the past tense since as I’ve grown older, I’ve drifted away from this passion.

Theater is, ironically, a lot like sports. As a kid, it’s all about exploring the hobby and maybe even finding a passion for it. You can enjoy your time with it because everyone is aware that this is a silly and fun thing to do despite taking it seriously all the same. I firmly believe that someone can simultaneously enjoy something for its ridiculousness and take it completely seriously when needed.

In fact, the people who solely take both sports and theater way too seriously are slowly killing the very thing they claim to love by chasing away those who love it just as much. There’s always that one parent at a Little League game who’s taking it too seriously, similar to the director or cast member who scowls at the person trying to make the six-hour rehearsals a little more lighthearted.

My theater journey firmly ended once I came to the University of New Haven. In high school, I was passionate about theater and loved every second of it. I loved the cast who bounded like family. I loved the directors who pushed us to do great and ultimately cared about the cast. I loved the crew who were the gears that made the metaphorical clock tick. College theater destroyed that for me. Productions became all about the director and making them look good. It became about the cast othering those who didn’t fit their mold. It began to feel like a dead-end corporate office job but without the pay and benefits.

It was soul crushing and depressing to see this happen to my now former passion, but I realized it was a part of growing up. I still enjoy acting and I still enjoy theater, but I would be lying if I said the flame hasn’t nearly flickered out. Perhaps one day I’ll return to the stage, but for now I’m happy working behind the scenes and supporting theater wherever I go. I can only hope the flame won’t die out.