SATIRE
Navigating the world of sports is no easy feat. With all of the lingo and strong emotions that go hand-in-hand with being a sports fan, it can be hard to hang out with members of this cult. It’s like saying you don’t listen to Taylor Swift when you’re around a Swiftie.
Read this guide about blending into the sea of sports fans— if you don’t want to inadvertently disrespect your friends.
Scream and shout during a game
While watching a competition, the people around you will likely shout and jump up and down whenever someone scores or does something good, whether you are in person or watching on television. If you see this, copy their actions. When they scream, you scream. If they throw popcorn at the TV, you throw popcorn at the TV. Make sure that when you are doing this, do not look too happy nor too angry. Especially if you do not know if the people around you are excited or disappointed at that team scoring points.
Just say you saw the game; nothing else
Eventually, you will be hanging out with your sports friends and they will ask you if you saw that match last night. If you are too afraid to admit that you did not watch the game, match that friend’s energy when saying “yes.” Be in awe if they are in awe or get angry when they are angry.
Pick a default team
Everybody has a favorite team that they follow and root for; it only makes sense for you to pick a default to “root for.” While it seems hard to pick a favorite team when you don’t know what goes on in that respective sport, it is quite simple. You can pick a team that all your friends already love, or one from your home state. If there are multiple from your home state, ask your friends what they prefer, but do it subtly. For example, if you are from New York and can’t decide between the baseball teams the Yankees and the Mets, ask your friends “Would you rather join the Yankees or the Mets?” Whichever answer they give, match their energy when answering. Also, the correct answer is the Yankees.
Do your research
Conducting research is the basis of forming an opinion that avoids people rolling their eyes at you when you say something incorrect. If your friend group has basketball fans, you should research different basketball teams and terms. Doing research is also how you respect your friends and their interests, which matters.