SATIRE

A new recognized student organization (RSO) will be coming to campus: the Stop Talking Freely Union (STFU). STFU seeks to dismantle the First Amendment rights of students and rallies to only allow the ideas they deem acceptable to be spread on campus.

STFU’s mission statement is to “Build a bubble where students can express whatever they want as long as it’s within our ideology. Otherwise, it’s hate speech and we will file complaints against you and make social media infographics on why you’re the worst person ever.”

According to the new president of STFU, the organization plans to regularly meet with administration in hopes of instating parameters that strictly outline what should be said by students and what should not.

These parameters include reading any article before it is published by news media on campus, preventing any student with opposing viewpoints from partaking in campus events and having a representative at every RSO meeting to monitor what is being said by members.

In response to some concerns as to if the RSO is a form of censorship, the president of STFU said, “We’re not trying to prevent students from having open conversation. We only want to prevent them from having conversations about things that we don’t like.”

“Facts aren’t always suitable for everyone. As Americans we have the right to pick and choose what we believe, regardless of if it is or isn’t true,” they said. “If I read something that’s been fact-checked and peer-reviewed, then I should be able to deny all of that information based on my emotions.”

If you are interested in becoming a member of STFU, you can contact them at [email protected]. They request you attach a writing sample showcasing your ability to complain via email.