Humans are highly subjective creatures. Many people lack the ability to truly look at a situation in an objective way, or the self-awareness and emotional maturity to look in the mirror and see what needs to be improved. Even then it takes a lot of strength to act upon the call for self-improvement, rather than simply diagnosing the problem and saying, “I’ll get on that” or “I promise I’ll fix it.”

I can admit that I haven’t been able to follow a positive track for self-care either. In fact, I would say that a lot of these perspectives come from a personal angle to some degree; either from watching others participate in this behavior or unfortunately acting this way myself.

Why point this out? It’s mostly in the effort to address a problem that I’ve seen time and time again; the inability to commit to true change. Too many times, I have seen someone ignore or straight up deny fault when faced with their mistakes. A familiar example is when someone hurts another person. The victim is blamed for telling people about their experience – because the victim is hurting the abuser’s feelings; this conveniently leaves out the feelings of the abused. Considering how actions can affect others is important, however sacrificing one’s own feelings for the sake of their abuser undermines the healing process.

The funny thing is that both perspectives can have merit. After all, one situation can have different outcomes depending on who experienced it. An example of this idea is two people looking at the letter “P” on the ground but each looking from a different side. One side sees “P” while the other side sees “b”. In this scenario, both people have vastly different perspectives despite experiencing the same event. However, if a person acknowledges that they have a problem, it is ultimately up to that person to actively initiate positive change. Simply pointing out that “I have issues” does not fix the issue. Knowing you have a problem and not trying to fix it is far worse than not knowing at all. At least someone who is oblivious to their faults doesn’t pretend like they are going to fix them.

I hope that if someone can get anything from this piece, it should be to take more care in being introspective. Take the time to actually listen to those who tell you about your mistakes. If you are going to commit to positive change, put in the effort to engage in healthy self-help activities. There is little use for nails with no hammer, and there are no results without effort. In the end, there’s only one person who can actually initiate change in your life and that starts with you.