Satire
As the semester unfolds, college students will inevitably find themselves navigating a labyrinth of classes, exams and endless assignments. Yet amid this chaos, there’s one universal truth:...
Volunteering is free work, so why would anyone do it?
While in high school, I felt like volunteering had no point. My experience with volunteering was standing around, waiting for people to tell me...
As the leaves begin to change and the campus begins to buzz with the excitement of a new academic year, one undeniable truth emerges: freshman year is less about mastering the art of college and more like...
Satire
As DEI programs in many states have been shut down, others aiming to preserve the protection of diverse members of academic and professional communities have taken to try and earn legal protection...
Satire
Attention, everyone! Come one, come all to the cut-rate 2024 University of New Haven ONE SIZE FITS ALL graduation.
Please make your way to the 10x20 football field suitable to fit a million...
Satire
This university has one of the best shuttle systems I have ever seen, better than the MTA -- and that is coming from a New Yorker.
Unlike regular transportation systems, the university shuttles...
Satire
Welcome to your personal how-to guide on mansplaining, the art of silencing and talking over women – because in the end, men just always know better. It is the best way to get your point and...
Satire
The hallowed walls of residence halls, where dreams of academic success collide with the harsh reality of shared living spaces and the everyday struggles of young adults.
The college experience...
Satire
Let me start by asking one question: have you ever seen a baby pigeon? I can answer that for you. The answer is no.
The government wants to ensure they are fully trained to catch your every...
Satire
As an epic video game expert, I’m here to give you an objective list of which characters you should use when playing the best game ever created: Mario Kart Wii. I have mastered this game and...
Satire
In December, Ophelie Rowe-Allen, dean of students, sent an email to the school that said, “The University has decided to ban electric scooters and other electric transportation devices, such...
Satire
Who would’ve thought? A recent poll across the U.S. was conducted to see which state had the safest drivers. Not only was Connecticut voted number one, but Campbell Avenue located right next...
In a poor attempt of revenge for beating them in every head-to-head matchup, Southern Connecticut State University (SCSU) staged a heist of a beloved member of the University of New Haven community. Jealousy...
SATIRE
The university is constantly seeking to create a safe space for new niches of students who can’t seem to find their place in any area of study that will actually secure them a job after graduation,...
SATIRE
The University of New Haven recently announced a change in the beloved Charlie the Charger mascot with him becoming a real horse. While this Pinocchio-like story sounds far-out, the school believes...
