Satire
As the semester unfolds, college students will inevitably find themselves navigating a labyrinth of classes, exams and endless assignments. Yet amid this chaos, there’s one universal truth: everyone loves free food and drinks (no, not those kinds, you know who you are). In an effort to make the most of their limited budgets, students have found innovative ways to concoct new campus traditions – ones that revolve around food and, ideally, minimal to no effort at all. Here’s a guide on how to create your own campus tradition that will have your peers flocking for snacks.
Step 1: Identifying the Need
First things first: recognize the desperate hunger of your fellow students. After weeks of ramen noodles, undercooked/burnt rice and meat from Bartels, or FOD acting like they are rationing out the world’s last meals, the desire for something better arises. A successful tradition starts by tapping into this need. Think about what your campus lacks. Is it a monthly pizza party? A pancakes and waffles breakfast? Or maybe a “Taco Tuesday” that never actually materializes? Once you’ve pinpointed the culinary gap, you’re ready to move forward.
Step 2: Create a Catchy Name
Next, you’ll want a name that sticks. Campus traditions thrive on cleverness and wordplay. Try to come up with something catchy that will have people chuckling and curious. For instance, how about “Snack Attack Thursdays” or “Fried Food Fridays” or maybe even “Beans & Rice Bonanza: Fuel for Finals!” The goal is to make it sound fun and approachable. Remember, alliteration works wonders—so feel free to get creative!
Step 3: Gather Your Allies
No tradition can thrive in isolation. Rally your friends and like-minded classmates to join your cause. The more people you involve, the more likely this is to gain traction. Create a social media group to spread the word and generate excitement. Encourage everyone to bring their own dishes, turning your event into a potluck. Nothing draws a crowd quite like the promise of free food (I’ve never passed up an offer). Plus, sharing the workload means less stress for everyone involved.
Step 4: Find a Location
Location is key. You’ll want a spot that’s accessible and has enough space to accommodate your growing audience. Consider common areas like the student union, library lawn, an empty classroom or right in the middle of the dining hall (you have to assert your dominance). Make sure to check with campus authorities to avoid any mishaps and make sure you are being safe (these guys are getting frat flu, don’t spread foodborne illnesses as well or you’re no better than the dining hall you seek to destroy). Plus, it’s no fun to have a budding tradition shut down by the campus police because someone didn’t secure a permit.
Step 5: Promote Like There’s No Tomorrow
Once you have the name, allies, and location, it’s time to spread the word. Utilize social media platforms, create eye-catching flyers, and tap into word-of-mouth. Perhaps even set up an event page on Facebook (if you’re over the ripe old age of 20) to track attendance. Don’t forget to play up the food aspect in your promotions. Above all else, mention the free food.
Step 6: Embrace the Chaos
On the day of your event, prepare for a whirlwind. Free food has a magnetic effect on college students, and they’ll arrive in droves (or herds, take your pick). Embrace the chaos, and don’t sweat the small stuff. If your first event ends up being more “snack struggle” than “snack celebration,” take it in stride (or don’t and just give up and the students hate you forever). The key to a successful tradition is not perfection, but consistency. If you keep the event going, it will likely evolve into something beloved by your peers.
Step 7: Iterate and Improve
Finally, be open to feedback. After each event, solicit opinions from attendees to see what worked and what could be improved. The best traditions are those that evolve with the community.
As you embark on your culinary quest, remember: the goal is to create a sense of camaraderie and fun among students while satisfying the primal college student urge for free stuff. With a little creativity and a lot of enthusiasm, your new tradition could become a cherished part of campus life, and just in time for midterms and finals.
