By MELANIE STONE

Dear Melanie,

So I like this guy a lot but he’s cheating on his girlfriend with me. I keep telling myself that when he leaves her (he says he will) he won’t do the same to me. My friends think otherwise, and I am in a tough spot because I know what were doing is wrong and I would not want it to happen to me, but I really like him. Help me?

-Sticky Spot

Dear Sticky Spot,

No one ever wants to hear that the person they are head over heels for is probably using them. I am not going to sit here and tell you that what you are doing is wrong and that he will never leave his girlfriend.

All men are different, and the honest truth is that he could really be content with you, and just planning on how to get out of his current relationship. The problem with all of this, however, is that most of the time guys have one thing on their mind. If he has a girlfriend somewhere else, and you here, then he sort of gets the best of both worlds.

Why would someone ever give that up if they could have their cake and eat it, too? It is time to give an ultimatum. This is when you will be able to see if his feelings are real, or if he’s just another tool bag of the earth.

My advice to you would be to give him two choices; either break up with his girlfriend and be with you, or stop stringing you along. I do not care how great this guy is, you do not deserve to have your heart strung along in hopes that he will one day be yours. I cannot imagine it feels good to be hanging out with him, when he gets a call from his girlfriend and he leaves the room to talk to her, or tells you to be quiet so she doesn’t know where he is.

If you are meant to be with this guy, then it will happen in time. It does not need to happen right now, and you do not need to be the reason he breaks up with his girlfriend, because you could forever feel guilty about that. If anything, you will be the reason he has opened his eyes and realized that he was not happy, and then in time maybe you guys can see what is really there.

Give yourself some time from the situation. You need a moment or two to clear your head, to get a good handle on everything and look at it from an outside perspective.

My main piece of advice goes as follows…tell him you are giving him one week (a time limit always makes a guy act quicker) to figure out what he wants to do. After that, if he is still with his girlfriend then you guys can no longer be anything. But if they break up, then you will be there to help him through anything he needs, and you guys can finally see if anything is between you two.

I hope this helps. Honestly, it is a sticky spot but most girls (and guys) would be lying if they said they were never in a position like this before. We all have liked something we can’t have (it all goes back to the thrill of the chase).

If things are meant to be they will work themselves out, but you should never feel so uneasy about being in a situation like this. When someone is the one for you, you should have butterflies and your heart should skip a beat every time you see them…and not because you’re worried their girlfriend will find out.

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