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Dear Melanie,

I had a break-up last year and I took it pretty hard; I didn’t really want to get back into dating because I wanted to focus on school and keeping busy. I want to start dating again but I don’t know where to start.

Desperate Dan

Hello Dan,

I’m sure more than a few of us have been where you are; dating is hard but trying to get back on that horse can be even harder.

I think the easiest place to start would be to start going out and doing things. Go to lounges and bars with your friends and practice talking to women and flirting again. You may not find “the one” that way but you can get the hang of things.

Try doing things you like but in public; finding someone with common interests could prove fruitful. If you like reading or writing, go to a café/bookstore and get some stuff done there- you might spot a cutie doing the same thing. Or if you’re a bit more active, go to the gym or hiking or rock-climbing; I bet you’ll spot someone you can make a date with.

If you’re scared of the whole “approaching someone” thing, there are also lots of dating sites that are targeted towards young people that are easy to navigate on your smartphone.

Dating is only as hard as you make it out to be; sometimes, our anxiety can get the better of us and make it seem scarier than it is. Just have fun while you’re doing it and I’m sure you’ll find someone who would love to join in.

Xoxo,
Melanie