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Dear Melanie,

I am a gay male and my parents are very religious. I found out I was gay when I was about 16. I feel like I am living a lie because I cannot share my boyfriend with my family and they are my main support system. I know they will not accept this; what can I do?

A Faithful Reader

Dear Reader,

I’m sorry that you can’t go to your parents with this. I know that sexuality can be a source of dissention in a lot of families. However, I do think that there are some things you can do.

You should always do your best to be honest about who you really are, especially with those that love you. This may be hard for them to accept at first but they may be able to get past it and if they don’t, at least you were honest and you may be able to find support elsewhere.

There are lots of tips on how you can approach this with your family and tell them on www.pflag.org; you can also find a PFLAG meeting near you, so that you can talk to actual people who have gone through what you’re going through or even direct your family to the website or a meeting so they can get the support of other families of LGBT persons on how to accept this and support you.

You can find support on campus too; we have a group named PRIDE that has meetings on campus that you can attend. Either way, you should do what you feel comfortable with and if you feel like now is the time to tell your family, then you should! They may surprise you.
xoxo,
Melanie