Dear Melanie,

My boyfriend and I are in the same major at school and in the same year. We were both really interested in working for the same company this upcoming Winter Break and I got offered the job, while he was devastated two days before because they turned him down. I haven’t told him I was offered the position yet, but I don’t want him to be upset. Should I even take the job?

If someone loves you they want to see you happy and that’s the bottom line. I know that people say everything happens for a reason all the time but I truly believe in that, and I believe that there is a reason you received this position and he did not. It sometimes hard to fathom at first, but if your boyfriend did not receive the position there is something better out there waiting for him and it may just be better suited for you.

I understand that you are probably so in love that you cannot stand the idea of him being upset or him feeling like he isn’t good enough, but you owe him enough respect to tell him that you were offered the position. You also owe yourself the respect to take a job that could benefit your future. The best positive to this situation is that now you are in the company and have connections that could be of value to both of you in the future.

As much as it hurts to tell him, I think that once you do, you will realize that you need to take the job. If he loves you as much as you obviously love him, since you considered not even accepting the position to save his feelings, then I think you will see that he would be very upset if you did yourself an injustice by not working there this winter.

My main piece of advice with any relationship is communication. You will be amazed how easy it becomes to talk about things that would normally cause issues, if you are opened and honest from the start. I think that this is an amazing opportunity for you, and your boyfriend will be very proud of you and excited for what’s to come.