Dear Melanie,

I have a close group of friends on campus; we hang out all the time. One of our friends has been very hostile lately. She has been picking fights with almost all of us and I don’t know what to do. We’ve tried talking to her but she hasn’t said anything is wrong. What can I do?

-Reader

Dear Reader,

It’s good that you guys have tried talking to her. She is probably going through something that she isn’t ready to talk about just yet. As a group, you guys should reassure her that you are there for her if she needs to talk and that she can trust you.

Her lashing out is not good, though. Even if she doesn’t tell you what’s wrong, tell her that something’s gotta give. She can’t fight with you guys over every little thing; tell her she will end up alienating you guys and, although you will help her, listen to her and be there for her, she needs to try to do better. If that means she takes a break from being with you guys to figure her stuff out, then so be it. Tell her that she can take all the time she needs and you’ll be there for her when she gets back but her mistreating you guys will not work.

Xoxo,
Melanie