Dear Melanie,

My boyfriend cheated on me last year and now that we’re back in school I really want to try and be friends again. What should I do?

Dear Anonymous,

This is definitely a tough call. Being cheated on by someone you love is very difficult and sometimes the hurt from that takes a long time to go away, even if you think it already has. If this boy did not have enough respect for you and went behind your back with someone else, then I don’t think he deserves you as a friend.

I am a very strong advocate against cheating and I believe that if someone is not truly happy in their relationship they owe it to themselves, and their significant other, to get out of it as soon as possible before any temptation arises.

I do believe however, that you are being the bigger person in this situation and for that I seriously commend you. If you truly believe that your feelings have dissipated so much that you are okay with seeing him and not feeling any “pang” from what happened, then I say go for it! Not only will it show him that you’ve completely moved on, but it will also allow everyone else to see what a good person you are and what a huge mistake he made by letting you go (that’s assuming they don’t already know that).

This is one of those situations where you really have to follow your mind over your heart. As a girl I know the emotion of feeling like you don’t have closure with a relationship. Sometimes in the midst of trying to achieve that, we see their name come up on our phone, or talk about meeting up, and all of a sudden we’re getting excited about talking to or seeing someone that ultimately hurt us in the past.

As long as you make sure that things feel strictly platonic for you that is all that matters and I believe that if he doesn’t know it already, he will see what an amazing thing he let go of, so be prepared to stand your ground if he wants to rekindle what you once had.

Good luck and stay strong, girl! There’s one real love out there for everyone and real love doesn’t come with heartbreak or confusion. Real love is about smiling when there’s no reason to simply because when you’re with that person you feel at home. Don’t settle until you find that, because you will.