Zack’s Wacky Stack of News

Zack Rosen

Woman sues Santa, claiming he fell on top of her
CHICAGO -Call it the case of the overserved Santa. Antoinette Basso filed a lawsuit Thursday against a man dressed in a Santa suit who she said stumbled and fell on top of her, knocking her face-first into the sidewalk outside a Chicago restaurant.

Basso claims in the Cook County Circuit Court lawsuit that she suffered “pain … disability and disfigurement.” She’s asking for damages in excess of $50,000.

Basso alleges that the Santa, Daniel Aulwes, appeared intoxicated at the time of the Dec. 7 incident. She’s accusing Aulwes of negligence and negligent battery.

A telephone listing for Aulwes had a recorded message that said the call cannot go through.

$50,000!? She’s a ho-ho-ho for money.

Nebraska woman, 86, gets $1,000 phone sex bill

BELLEVUE, Neb. -The family of an 86-year-old woman who was billed for over $1,000 in phone sex calls suspects identify theft. Arlene Hald recently received a credit card bill addressed to her husband, Sylvester, who died nearly 20 years ago. Hald said they never had a credit card, yet an account in his name was charged.

Hald’s daughter, Peggy Rytych, believes her father was the victim of ID theft. She called the billing company, Preferred Platinum Plan, which agreed to remove the charges.

Rytych says they thought that was the end of it — until another bill arrived for over $70. The California-based company agreed to remove the latest charges and never bill Hald again.

Little does the family know that these are real charges made by the 86-year-old. Ha!

Michigan police taser nude man outside church
BAY CITY, Mich. -Going to church brought no peace to a man Tasered by police as he stood in the nude in 27-degree weather. A funeral Mass was being held inside St. Mary of the Assumption Catholic Church when police received 911 calls about a naked man Friday morning. Sgt. Gordon Cameron said the man told officers he was having problems with his parents and wanted to go to church.

Cameron told The Bay City Times that the man cursed and verbally abused police before Officer Troy Sierras immobilized him with a Taser, an electronic device that fires barbs causing temporary paralysis.

The man was draped in a blanket and taken to Bay Regional Medical Center for treatment.

Cameron said the man, whose name was withheld, likely wouldn’t be charged with any crime.