The Expendables is an Action Spectacle

Cameron Hines

What can I really say about a movie that, while watching, made me want to chant “USA” the whole time?

This is The Expendables 2, a movie that features almost as much action, muscle and incomprehensible dialogue as an episode of Jersey Shore. A quick disclaimer: anyone who is not a fan of action films, you can stop reading right now because I can tell you this movie is not your cup of tea.

Blazing through the screen with more bullets, one-liners and muscles than seems possible, is an all-star cast of Hollywood’s finest action stars: Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger,

Chuck Norris, and a wealth of other recognizable actors gear up for this action movie about a team of misfits trying to stop an evil-doer (a menacing Jean Claude Van Damme) from gaining access to nuclear warheads.

This cast is the equivalent of The Avengers, except instead of a team of superheroes from comic books, these are superheroes from action movies. These actors are over-the-top as they deliver hit-or-miss one-liners, whether it’s Bruce Willis quoting Terminator or Chuck Norris making jokes about his own image that has become an icon of pop culture.

But that plays to the movie’s advantage, because if it took itself too seriously, it would be a mess. As someone who did not see the first Expendables, I felt very lost and confused in terms of plot.

I’m kidding; of course, this movie has just the thinnest plot possible. Essentially, this movie is aimed at transitioning the audience from one over-the-top action scene to the next. Anyone looking for plot twists or deep meaning in the story, you’ll have to keep searching.

This movie exists solely to whet the appetites of action movie fans. The movie is at its best when Stallone and company are engaged in ridiculous action sequences.

Unfortunately, this is where the movie falls short, as there is too much time where these actors are sitting around talking and not enough time seeing them kick ass.

We do not like Terry Crews or Jet Li because they deliver performances that move us to tears: we like when they beat up their enemies and put tears in their eyes.

To try to take this movie seriously would be a huge downfall: it’s not going to win Oscars for directing or writing, and it certainly won’t for acting.

To enjoy this movie, you have to sit back, stare blankly at the screen, and just not think about anything but explosions and guns. If you are looking to see a movie that offers an impressive plot and superb writing, you may want to wait.

But if you want to go and watch your favorite actions stars beat up baddies simply for entertainment purposes, look no further than The Expendables 2.