Remakes can’t stand the heat

Scott Iwaniec

So here is my review for The Amazing Spider-Man—I mean Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Megan Fox plays April O’Neil in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (AP Photo)
Megan Fox plays April O’Neil in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (AP Photo)

My apologies, I seem to have gotten the two films confused, considering they have identical plot lines.

Seriously, down to minor plot points, the two films are almost identical. This film even ends with the climactic battle on top of a New York City skyscraper and concludes with the top of the tower collapsing—no spoiler, it’s in the trailer.

With that aside, how is this movie that people are claiming to be so horrifically bad you ask? Well, in all honesty, it’s nowhere near as bad as it’s said to be. I wouldn’t say it’s a good movie, but it has some likable aspects.

First I’ll start off with the things most people have problems with. The origin story—I like it, and I thought the connection between April and the turtles was clever. The look of the turtles—I like how their apparel has to do with their personality and it makes them feel a little more like teenagers.

Other than that the film has some pretty cool visuals and a lot of bright colors against a dark background. The action is fun to watch, but the only really memorable sequence was when they slide down the mountain.

I speak of everything minimally because that’s the best way I can sum up the movie: its fine.

Nothing was too memorable, but nothing was too terrible either. It is nice to see some recreations of our favorite scenes from the the 1990 Ninja Turtles movie.

Its weaknesses come from the villain and the pacing. The villain has no motivation and isn’t even that memorable. The pacing is just too fast. It really emphasizes family and brotherhood, as Ninja Turtles should, but everything seems rushed and the emotion isn’t given any time to sink in.

I think the reason why people dislike this movie is due to one name: Michael Bay, the director of the film.

It’s unfortunate that for some people, when hearing the name, it trigers anger. Anyone who hates this movie already decided they hated it before seeing it.

It’s obvious this movie is meant for kids. The sooner audiences realize this movie is just a long cartoon episode, the better.