Life of a UNH Party Girl

The Charger Bulletin

By Anonymous

I am one of those girls who go out every night of every weekend. Sleep until five p.m., have some dinner, and go back out. I am here to share the stupid things that people do at the clubs from the fights to the awkward dancing and everything in between.

My friend is one of those people who cannot dance. We have all seen them. The boys who just move their hips from side to side like they are hip popping a friend of theirs next to them. But my favorite is when you are dancing with someone who you really did not care to be dancing with in the first place and they decide it would be a nice idea to start daggering. That is when I step away and get another drink.

The fights are always fun too. These guys just casually stroll into the club and literally just as they get through the door past the guy who collects the money, they start wailing on someone. They basically start a mosh pit right near the exit and I am just standing there like uhhhhhhh…….. So I decide to back up to the wall, but do not worry someone spilled my drink anyway.

The security guards all run over authoritatively and try to pull the three or so guys apart. Then they really freak out and start punching security. Always a good way to not to get kicked out. It took about two minutes to break up the fight and one of my favorite security guards lost his hat and is now in a cast. I still do not know how the fight started.

The clothing some people wear to the clubs makes my night. Last Friday night a girl showed up wearing a long flowing dress that I would have worn when I was ten. Any guy who danced with her just looked confused because she was trying to salsa and they were trying to get laid. Finally this guy’s friend saves him but then starts dancing with the girl and they both were dancing all fancy and I just sat on the couch confused and staring.

I hate to laugh at other people’s misfortune but… This one girl had no neck. It went face, then chest. I could not help myself. And the next week there were these two awesome girls dressed rather interestingly and one of them had no arm but she was still going hard dancing with all the guys and buying tons of shots. That is my favorite kind of person at the clubs, the ones who just do not care about anything.