I Don’t Know If All Sheep Go to Hell, But Satan Definitely Shops At Hollister

The Charger Bulletin

by Kyle McLaughlin

If you watch The Hills, change cell phone models more than once a year, or enjoy drinking camel piss (Starbucks), then stop reading now.
I cannot stand that everywhere I turn there is some form of materialism that appeals to and warps egos as well as dumb down our society. Oh wait, your society, not ours.
Every single day our nation is inundated with shallow, fantastic ideals that only encourage rampant egotism. Commercials, television shows, magazines, and radio, all taint the minds of our society into believing that material goods and their dollar values will make you “cooler” or more interesting. Jeans that show off your ass, facial washes that promise to make you look young forever, diet pills that will make you fit overnight, and overpriced clothing brands so you can feel like you’re someone important. I can picture the typical consumer shopping for some overpriced handbag: “Look at that handbag! It’s $300, but it has the designer’s initials on it! If I buy this bag it will make me look more appealing and I’ll be the target of everyone’s envy!” Cram your ego. Chances are if you need to purchase something based on its price tag, then you have the personality of a cancer ward. An overpriced item only displays that your ego needs to be fed and you’re giving into fears concocted by the media.
Companies purposely display their products in a specific light to subvert your self-confidence. The commercials aren’t there only to encourage you to purchase their products, but to sew fear. Think about it, the commercials we all witness almost always have attractive people featured in them or portray an ideal situation that would never have occurred if you didn’t own or consume “X” product. Take for instance hair dyes for middle-aged men. They all convey the message that grey hair is unsightly and unattractive, and by not buying their product, the man won’t be checked out by his cougar counterparts. Not only that, but they literally try to erode a man’s self-confidence by using supposed testimonials where men compare their grey-haired state to their new colored-hair state in which the men discuss their previous lack of confidence. How pathetic.
However, what’s more pathetic, is blind consumerism is socially accepted. Money should not forsake individuality nor should it negatively bolster egos. Dollar values only prove you’re mommy and daddy’s little knuckle-dragger.