Do not fall in love with a writer

Caitlin Duncan

Writers, true writers, are unique human beings. They are their own breed, their own species. It takes a special type of person to be fulfilled by words spilling out of them onto a page, bleeding ink from all crevices of their body. Writers are sensitive and strong at the same time. They are hopeless romantics and realists. Writers are dangerous people, and this is a fair warning: do not fall in them with them.

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It is no secret that writers use what they know best. They write about their own stories, their friends’ stories, their parents’ stories, and anyone else’s they can get their hands on. Writers fall in love with stories. They will take one story and stretch it and exaggerate it into a beautiful scene that ends in a happy ending.

Writers have active imaginations, and reality tends to be a disappointment to them. When writers fall in love, they create a story in their mind of how they wish it would turn out. Chances are, they’re more in love with the story they’ve conjured up than their significant other. If you fall in love with a writer, don’t be surprised if they’ve set unrealistic expectations for you, because that’s what writers do.

When writers get inspiration, they will become obsessively consumed in their words. They will sit at their computer for hours on end, typing, deleting and retyping until they’ve achieved their idea of perfection. They will be angry and irritable; so don’t disturb them when they get in a writing trance. It will break their hearts if their train of thought is lost while writing what’s been floating in their mind for days, but couldn’t find the words to explain until now. If you fall in love with a writer, be prepared to deal with their tears, anger and excitement that come along with their writing. If you fall in love with a writer, please give them an honest opinion, but break it to them gently because their words are their babies.

When dating a writer, don’t be offended if they aren’t trusting at first. They know just how badly words can hurt. Imagine being shot with your own gun. This is how writers feel when they’re hurt by words. They use millions of combinations of 26 letters to form beauty on paper, but they also know millions of combinations of those same 26 letters can cause heartbreak. If you fall in love with a writer, just be aware of how much words impact them. If you fall in love with a writer, say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Writers tend to write when they’re falling in love or falling apart. Intimate details between the two of you will almost always be shared on paper, whether someone else reads it or not. It’s just the way writers are. They do not feel fulfilled until their words fill endless pages of paper with their feelings of love and joy. They do the same when they are filled with heartbreak and sadness. Writers know some of their best works come from heartbreak, so if you fall in love with a writer, don’t be upset if they write about how you hurt them. The story belongs to them, and the only way for them to move on from it is by writing about it.

Writers don’t mean for it to be this way; it’s just how their brains are wired. They have the best intentions and they want love just as much as anyone else, but do not fall in love with them. Do not fall in love with a writer if you can’t handle their tears, anger or frustration when they can’t find the words to explain their feelings. Do not fall in love with a writer if you can’t handle having a story written about you, both positively and negatively. Do not fall in love with a writer if you don’t know how to use your words to express your feelings.

If you cannot handle all of this, please, do yourself and them a favor, and do not fall in love with a writer.