Disastrous Dash Button

Alessia Bicknese

Today I started my day as I usually do: waking up, grabbing my phone, scoping out all of social media, and working my way towards online shopping. This led me to Amazon. Now, we all know and love Amazon for many reasons, but today, I found an amazing reason that led me to feelings of animosity. I wanted to be surprised and shocked, but quite frankly, we all saw this coming. Technology is really taking over, and everything is officially available at the touch of a button. Literally.

What I discovered is something called the “Dash Button” by Amazon. If you don’t know what that is, it’s literally a button that you press when you are running low on something as simple as diapers, or paper towels. For example, say you have a Keurig, you would keep the button above the coffee machine and press it if, God forbid, you are running out of k-cups and can’t possibly fathom taking a quick trip to Stop & Shop.

The advertisement for this button is what gets me, though. It shows simple everyday tasks; microwaving food, throwing detergent in the wash, and using face wash. The ad is interrupted when a woman is devastated by the fact that she has run out of k-cups. But thank God! She has the Dash Button, and can now click it and get her coffee in a day or two! It’s a huge relief that she doesn’t have to make the long, dreadful trip to her local grocery store. The point of the button is to click it when you are running low on an item, that way Amazon can ship it to you by the time you run out. Also, you never have to leave your house again to grocery shop. I mean seriously, they have a button for everything. The only thing you probably can’t (or shouldn’t) buy is poultry. Oh, so that means you have to go to the grocery store anyway to buy dinner for your family… so you can pick up paper towels and coffee while you’re there, right?

Apparently not! Let me tell you what this button will do. Put grocery stores out of business, enhance the laziness problem in America, which will ultimately lead to more obesity since we will now be pushing a button to grocery shop, which means we are all going to die of obesity. Great. This is what America has come to. Well, this is officially the generation of technology and laziness. I mean seriously, the ad really shows women doing the housework and pushing the button. So, if they are supposed to be stay at home moms, which it seems like they are, then they aren’t going to be doing the stereotypical shopping and chores because it is really done for them through a damn button.

The ad also shows a young child pushing the button because it’s just soooo easy. It’s also noted that you can’t place more than one order at a time via the button, and any order placed sends a notification to the smartphone it’s set up with. That way, if a child pushes the button for fun, it’s okay cause you can cancel it from your phone. But what if you don’t cancel the order on time, or just miss the notification. Then you’re buying stuff and spending money for no reason. Also, the problem with the button is that it’s a button.
You’re clicking it constantly and not realizing or keeping track of the money you are spending. Then, at the end of the month, when you realized you’re spending double of what you normally spend, you’ll realize, “oh crap, I’m an idiot, get rid of this button.”

All I’m saying is that if this is what technology has created now, I’m scared of what the future holds. I mean, eventually our groceries and household needs are just going to be teleported directly to our pantries. That means fewer jobs for high school kids working at grocery stores, and grocery stores out of business overall. Has anyone thought of the miniscule possibility of the button not working on occasion? What if you put your order in, and two days later it’s not on your doorstep. Hey guys? Technology is not 100 percent reliable, by the way. Also, what about the fact that if everyone is using this ignorant button, supplies are going to go out of stock so much faster, and then you’re going to have to go to the grocery store, which apparently is so 2015.

Enjoy your button.