Dear Idiotic Drunk Attendees to Campus Events

The Charger Bulletin

SCOPE, the Student Committee of Programming Events, is a group full of dedicated students who attempt-and succeed-in organizing, running, and scheduling campus events and trips. SCOPE is responsible for planning, organizing, and completely running the annual Spring Concert and Spring Weekend, as well as movies every weekend, comedians, hypnotists, off-campus trips, spray-painted trucker hats, butt sketch artists, and so much more.
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This past weekend, SCOPE had touring comedian Rebecca Corry come on campus to Dodds Theatre. There was a pretty good turnout, considering the Alumni Ball was the same evening. However, a few of the students were not part of the good turnout.

If you’re going to go out and party on a Saturday night, go and have fun. Really! If you’re going to stay in your room and drink all night, do it and have a great time. But don’t drink so much and then decide to come on out to a SCOPE event. Your drunken antics and attitude are shameful, disruptive, rude, and immature at best.

You may have been taught by your parents to treat performers rudely and talk throughout the majority of a show; you may have been told to keep moving your seats and stopping the show. If that’s the case, you have lousy parents. Show them a lesson and grow up.

If you have to go out and act so immaturely after drinking, since you obviously don’t know how to even drink maturely, then don’t do it at a SCOPE event. You’re incapable of acting like a real man, so just do everyone a favor and don’t show up to these events that are so well-planned only to offend the performer and embarrass yourself.

I can only hope your parents were like this as well; otherwise, it just means you’re a jackass. It would at least be somewhat comforting to know that your insensibility is hereditary.

Sincerely, and without much love,