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Can I Crash At Your Place Tonight?

Zack Rosen

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Let’s say my name was George Baldwin, and I was a 19-year-old irresponsible, masculinity-proving teenager. Let’s continue this story, and assume that I went to see my good friends, the Pfeifer sisters, at their home. And of course being this irresponsible teenager, I had a bit to drink while I was there. Afterwards, I got into the car with my intoxicated friend William Klairmont. Since we were morons and drove while under the influence, we got into a crash and, as a result, I was paralyzed. Of course, even though I was an idiot and got into the car with Klairmont, if my family were to sue somebody it would be William’s family, correct?
Wrong. This feebleminded ignoramus (ha!) actually sued the mother of the two sisters, Lauralee Pfeifer, $2.5 million in damages.

Okay, so the mother must have known that the boys were driving home drunk, right? That would be a good reason to sue her.

God dammit, wrong again!

According to an article released in the Chicago Tribune, “unlike other lawsuits alleging that adults played a role in teenage drinking parties, Pfeifer did not buy the alcohol for the teens or know they were drinking in her home.”

According to Pfeifer’s lawyer, Michael Borders, Pfeifer did not admit any wrongdoing in the settlement.

Instead, it has been argued that Pfeifer should have better monitored the teens and suspected they were drinking – especially considering the daughters had been caught drinking in the past.

“Ridiculous” is really the only word that I have for this. I sincerely hope that the judge in this case decides to throw it out due to the circumstances. Sure, if the mother TOLD the guys to drive home knowing they had been drinking it would be a different story. But judging from what I’m reading, it seems that she didn’t know. they had been drinking. And not in a “I didn’t know because I’m a useless and neglectful parent” kind of way. If that were the case, once again, that would give Baldwin’s family the right to sue Pfeifer. But in no way is it evident that Pfeifer was acting as an irresponsible adult.

What would truly be nice is if Baldwin, who is certainly old enough to understand that this series of events was his fault, grew up and realized that he should take responsibility for his actions.

In the words of famed psychologist Robert Ellis: “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own.  You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president.  You realize that you control your own destiny.”

Unfortunately, this lawsuit is going to mess up Baldwin’s acknowledgement of what is wrong.
The fact of the matter is that you really need to take responsibility for your own actions. If you’re one of those tough guys who thinks they can have 4 drinks then go driving, then play Crash Bandicoot on your freakin’ Xbox. You’re not as much of a man as you think, so stop trying to prove you can drive while intoxicated. Grow up, and have a designated f%*&ing driver.

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Can I Crash At Your Place Tonight?