The Charger Battery


The weather has been ghor-gee-uhs dahlings! It’s great seeing people outside being active and turning in for the night either a nice shade of lobster red or a nice touch of olive. That said, the nights are about to get humid and the discomfort is going to kick in. There’s less than a month left–you can doooo it! Unfortunately motivation has an indirect relationship to temperature as a function of time.

Seniors–we’re almost done! Which sadly means my reign of the Battery is almost over. If you think you’re as witty, honest, observant, or sarcastic as me–or maybe even more so–send us some Battery-like writing samples. I want a protégé!

Who’s excited for spring weekend!?!?!?!?!?! I know I am!! Trapt, elephants, and ferris wheels oh my!

Did I mention that Spring Concert is on Friday!? I CAN’T WAIT!


Forgive me, for I have talked about this one since the inception of the Battery. Those dang trees are back in bloom. Every year, new adjectives arise (too lude to mention here) that describe the foul malodor of those deceptively innocent, beautifully ornate, white flowers. It’s almost as if it’s a rite of passage for the Freshmen of the Quad, that poor group of intrepid souls who must endure through the murky pungency on those hot, stagnant days.

So the water fountains in Dodds have been “out of order” of months. This is absolutely absurd and horribly torturous to students who need a nice, refreshing sip of water to cool their trembling lips and tame their scratchy throat before tests and presentations. President Kaplan wonders why people don’t donate back to a school who can’t even fix water fountains, but can move trees from one place to another. At this rate, don’t expect my donations.