PSA: Don’t Kill Your Roommate

Mirinda Osmen

It has reached the point in the semester where roommate quirks stop being quirky and start being way too frustrating. That first time they should have taken out the trash was understandable, but it has happened a few too many times now. Didn’t clear the sink? Comes home late and turns on all the lights? Invites friends over without telling you? May or may not actually still live in your room? Most of us have been there, and would like to share some tested remedies:

Tell them.

Tell them they are horrible people who need to clean and respect shared space.

Ask them.

Why aren’t you doing something helpful? Do you do anything? Can you do something?


Get a bottle, a mug, anything. Take a water break. Or, if you’re of age, a “water” break.

Take a walk.

Grab them by their shirt, assuming they’re wearing one, and take them for a walk around campus to air-out your feelings.

Ignore what they are doing, but be more obnoxious in things they may hate.

They don’t like country music? Have a “House Party” with Sam Hunt. They never shower? Always spray perfume of cologne when they walk in (right in the nose works best).

Use their mess to benefit you. If they leave their shoes everywhere, use the shoes to hold to door open, as a soccer ball (with their bed as the goal) or to create a minefield for their late-night returns. Them not taking out the trash means that you don’t have to either. Pile your garbage on top of theirs and relax in the laziness and perfumed air.

If you have a specific issue and would like some specifically tailored advice, please contact either The Charger Bulletin or myself directly.
Have a lovely day!