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“Stupid Rich People”

Zack Rosen

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Know
who I don’t like? “Stupid rich people.” Take note that there is a vast
difference between “rich people” and “stupid rich people,” however. Translated
from Latin, “rich people” is “(n.) a group of wealthy individuals who may enjoy
golfing;” “stupid rich people” is “(n.) a group of individuals who have to
enjoy golfing.”

Notice
the two differences in their definitions: for “stupid rich people,” there is
the subtraction of “wealthy” and a replacement of “have to” instead of “may.”
Basically put, “stupid rich people” don’t necessarily need to be rich. They
just need to be stupid. That’s why “stupid” comes first, bozo.

Let me
explain.

John
McCain, although I don’t know him personally, is probably not a “stupid rich
people.” Sure, he may be stupid in certain aspects and his seven houses
certainly don’t shout out any poor qualities (pun DEFINIITELY intended!); but
JMac Daddy is simply “rich people”-and stupid is the icing that comes alongside
with the McCake.

George
W. Bush is a “stupid rich people,” however. He’s rich, his family is oil-hungry
(goes alongside with the richness aspect), and anyone who doesn’t recognize him
as stupid needs their eyes checked…along with every other part of their body.
Also, he sucks at golf-yet plays anyways! That is primo! Just look at the
definition: “a group of individuals who HAVE TO enjoy golfing.” He plays golf
at times he should be meeting with the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Ding-ding, we
have a winner!

Take
note, I don’t hate rich people-90% of them honestly deserve their money. If I
hear another person tell me that Bill Gates is a bad person because he doesn’t
give $1 to every person in the world, I think I’ll go so crazy. I may consider
voting for JMac Daddy. HAVE YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF THE BILL AND MELINDA GATE
FOUNDATION!? Of course not. You’re stupid. Now just make some money, and you’ll
be a “stupid rich people.”

Point
is that the 90% who honestly deserve their richness should be paying higher
taxes than others-because it won’t hurt them. If I made over $600,000 a year, I’d
be glad to be paying taxes that were a little higher than other people!
Whatever happened to America
being a country where those better off can help those less well off? For our
generation, I feel that people like George W. Bush and his followers are the
answer. They’ve depressed the nation so dramatically that nobody cares about
anything anymore. But don’t worry, kiddos. Certain people (coughObamacough) are
making this carelessness into something much more: from being thrown out of
hospitals to universal healthcare; from helping daddy look better to ending the
war in Iraq; from eight years of crap to a future not so crappy. He’s moving
the nation, especially the younger voters. And even you can’t deny that, Mr.
and/or Mrs. Republican Reader.

The
people who aren’t helping, however, are the millionaires and billionaires who
feel that paying more than ten bucks a week for national taxes is “unfair” and that
it is “class warfare.” Have you ever seen these same people donate money to
good causes? Neither have I.

We all
aspire to have a successful future; we all aspire to gain happiness and make
lots of money. Fact is happiness is something that nobody but you has any
control over, and few of us will make lots of money. But for those who do, ask
yourself: are you going to be a cool, rich person or are you going to be a
“stupid rich people?” Don’t choose the latter; instead, if you become one of
the few lucky ones, do good things with your money. Buy a Ferrari; go to grad
school; but also donate to a good cause.

“You
have not lived a perfect day, even though you have earned your money, unless
you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you.”

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The Student News Source of the University of New Haven
“Stupid Rich People”